Sometimes, beginnings are just as hard as endings.

Thursday I got a phone call around 6:00 PM. I didn't have my phone on me, and it wasn't until two hours later that I checked and saw I had a message. It was about the job. The director of the department hiring had left me message, asking me to call him back.

I have to admit, I got a little excited. My figuring was that if it was for a follow-up interview, he would have mentioned times, etc. If it was to tell me I didn't get the job, well, I figured it would have been less messy to simply leave a voicemail.

I called him back the next morning. And . . . .

I didn't get it.

I remained calm, I was polite. And he kept jabbering on about why, and explaining that I was the second choice--but a really, really close one.

So I got off the phone. I called my husband, and I lost it. Blubbering all over the place. I stopped, he had to go back to work. So then I called my Mom. And I lost it again. After talking with her for a while, I calmed down. I figured I was good to call my Dad. As soon as he got halfway through, "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry . . ." I was balling like a baby again.

Truth be told, I was little annoyed at myself for getting so emotional. But I really, REALLY wanted this job. Hardcore.

So then I went and spent the weekend at a spa in Wisconsin (Bachelorette Party). I got a mani/pedi and went dancing. And now, I'm okay with it. I'm not happy about it. I'm still a little down. But I've accepted it and am looking to the future.

My boss at the 'mart informed me this week that one of the department leads (shoes) has to take a medical leave for 3-6 months and they want me to temporarily fill her position. I took it. It's full-time. As much as I hate going to work some days, we need it. Badly. So I'm going to suck it up.

Hubby and I made a decision, though. He's signed his contract for next year. This fall, I'm applying to MLIS programs. And WHEN I get accepted, we're moving to wherever that happens to be.

I'm thinking east coast.