I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm struggling right now to choose between pursuing a PhD in English (so I can teach literature) or pursuing an MLIS (to become a librarian). Let's pro/con, shall we? Perhaps this will give me some perspective.
PhD:
The one thing that this can claim heavily in its favor is my desire to teach. I've discovered this semester that I truly enjoy teaching literature. Am I really good at it? Probably not the best. Yet. But that's what PhD programs are for. I like having discussions about books and topics, I like learning from my students when they see things I don't, I like exposing them to writers or books or ideas they might never have encountered. I like hearing, "This is my favorite class," from a math major; and "Is it okay if my paper is too long? I'm going to have too much fun writing this paper." Both of which actually happened this semester. From two students who say they don't like English classes and don't like writing.
The drawback to this is that the market for jobs is abysmal and has been for about 15-20 years. The recession certainly didn't help any, either. Basically, if I do get a PhD, I have about 10% chance of getting a full-time, tenure-track position in the first few years. So essentially, I'd be putting in 3-4 years of hard work to be right back in the same position I am now for at least the first few years of the job search. I don't want to put in the money and time to even apply for programs unless I'm 100% sure this is what I want to do. (Plus, to have a better chance of success after finishing the degree, I'd have to go to one of the top schools in the country. I'm honestly don't know if I'm smart enough to get into them, much less succeed in them.--And that's not being modest. It's a simple fact.)
MLIS:
When I was going in to my junior year at undergrad, this is what I wanted to do. I knew it. I got a job working in the school's library. I applied to one of the top schools in the country. I didn't get in. So I went on to a Master's program in English, figuring I would just apply to MLIS programs after finishing my English degree. Well, I got burned out. I wanted to take time off. And my time off has got me into some serious thinking. It made me think that maybe I wanted to do something else. Am I still interested? Absolutely. I'm intrigued by digital libraries, and reference services. I'd want to work in an educational library. And, if I did, chances are I'd still be able to teach English at least every now and then. Plus, this job market is better. Oh-so-much better. There's a lot of people going in to the field now, but there's a lot of new, innovative job opportunities for someone with this degree. Especially if you specialize in digital libraries.
The con is that I'm unsure. What if I start doing it and hate it? Is that a chance I'll just have to take? Am I willing to essentially jump in blind? Have faith that it will be right?
I've always joked that I've never really "planned" out my life. I've never strategically set goals and made my way to them. I've somehow ended up where I need to be, when I need to be there. Some may call it luck. But I call it faith. I've always asked God to guide where I need to go, and so far, I haven't been led astray. So in addition to thinking about all of this, I've been praying. And many great opportunities have come my way, and most of them, for some reason or another, haven't worked out. But then this semester happened, where I'm teaching the equivalent of overload hours, and I'm loving half of my classes and hating the other half. So what's the lesson to be learned? Is this it? Am I here because this is where my life is meant to go? Or is this supposed to be the trial that leads me to the other path? I try to look, listen, feel what's happening around me, looking for that epiphany. But I feel like I've had an epiphany for each path I've considered. Does that mean I just need to pick one and run with it?
Questions, questions, questions. No answers. Not yet. But I'm waiting. I'm praying, I'm listening.
