Thursday I got a phone call around 6:00 PM. I didn't have my phone on me, and it wasn't until two hours later that I checked and saw I had a message. It was about the job. The director of the department hiring had left me message, asking me to call him back.
I have to admit, I got a little excited. My figuring was that if it was for a follow-up interview, he would have mentioned times, etc. If it was to tell me I didn't get the job, well, I figured it would have been less messy to simply leave a voicemail.
I called him back the next morning. And . . . .
I didn't get it.
I remained calm, I was polite. And he kept jabbering on about why, and explaining that I was the second choice--but a really, really close one.
So I got off the phone. I called my husband, and I lost it. Blubbering all over the place. I stopped, he had to go back to work. So then I called my Mom. And I lost it again. After talking with her for a while, I calmed down. I figured I was good to call my Dad. As soon as he got halfway through, "Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry . . ." I was balling like a baby again.
Truth be told, I was little annoyed at myself for getting so emotional. But I really, REALLY wanted this job. Hardcore.
So then I went and spent the weekend at a spa in Wisconsin (Bachelorette Party). I got a mani/pedi and went dancing. And now, I'm okay with it. I'm not happy about it. I'm still a little down. But I've accepted it and am looking to the future.
My boss at the 'mart informed me this week that one of the department leads (shoes) has to take a medical leave for 3-6 months and they want me to temporarily fill her position. I took it. It's full-time. As much as I hate going to work some days, we need it. Badly. So I'm going to suck it up.
Hubby and I made a decision, though. He's signed his contract for next year. This fall, I'm applying to MLIS programs. And WHEN I get accepted, we're moving to wherever that happens to be.
I'm thinking east coast.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Not-so-fast food
Today's entry is not about KMart. Enjoy, regardless.
On Mondays and Wednesday when I teach classes in the evenings, I am likely to stop by one of the fast-food places near my house to grab a quick bite before heading out of town.
Today, I went to McDonalds. Seeing how long the drive through line was, and wanting to make sure my ice/sweet tea ratio was acceptable, I decided to go inside and order. Mistake #1.
The girl taking orders was training. Of course, she was training without a trainer. So go to order. I ask for, and I quote, "I'd like a McDouble, with just ketchup on it. And a medium fry and large soft drink."
She starts punching buttons. After about 15-20 seconds, she looks at me and says, "You want what kind of McDouble?"
So I repeat. She punches a bunch more buttons. Then goes and asks the woman making smoothies to "come over here when you're done." So I have to wait for someone in the drive-through to get their strawberry-banana smoothie before Clueless can punch in "McDouble only ketchup."
Smoothie lady comes over, and does it for her. Asking all sorts of questions about substitutions and crap, and I'm like, "I don't want to substitute anything. I just want a McDouble with only ketchup." So she goes, "Oh, okay," and Smoothie goes "click, click, click" and orders me my damn McDouble. So then Clueless looks at me and says, "And you wanted what else?"
I was a little irritated at this point, because I needed to get driving. But I answer politely that I want "a medium fry and a large soft drink."
She punches about 20 buttons, gives me my total, I swipe the debit card, and I'm thinking, we're on our way. So I step back so she can help the next person. She turns and looks at me and says, "Did you want your sundae plain?"
I must have looked at her like she had a second head growing out of her abdomen or something, because I was like, "What foxtrottin' sundae?" Instead, I said, "I didn't order a sundae."
She looked like she was about to cry and asks again what I ordered. So I walk over and say slowly, "A McDouble, a medium fry, and a large soft drink."
Somehow, "Large Soft Drink," got translated into, "Plain Sundae." Thank Thor they were the same price. I figuered she would just hand me a cup. Oh no, she has to re-ring "Large Soft Drink" and I was gonna be t'd off if she tried to make me pay. Thankfully, she didn't. And by the time I filled up my cup with just the right amout of ice and sweet tea, my McDouble with only ketchup and the fries were ready to go.
She apologized for messing up the order, said that it was her first day training. After that, I felt a little bad for her, because she was alone at the registers, and it was 5:00. She was about to have a really, really bad first day. I may have gotten irritated, but I'm a helluva lot nicer than most people, especially hungry ones with screaming children, are.
On Mondays and Wednesday when I teach classes in the evenings, I am likely to stop by one of the fast-food places near my house to grab a quick bite before heading out of town.
Today, I went to McDonalds. Seeing how long the drive through line was, and wanting to make sure my ice/sweet tea ratio was acceptable, I decided to go inside and order. Mistake #1.
The girl taking orders was training. Of course, she was training without a trainer. So go to order. I ask for, and I quote, "I'd like a McDouble, with just ketchup on it. And a medium fry and large soft drink."
She starts punching buttons. After about 15-20 seconds, she looks at me and says, "You want what kind of McDouble?"
So I repeat. She punches a bunch more buttons. Then goes and asks the woman making smoothies to "come over here when you're done." So I have to wait for someone in the drive-through to get their strawberry-banana smoothie before Clueless can punch in "McDouble only ketchup."
Smoothie lady comes over, and does it for her. Asking all sorts of questions about substitutions and crap, and I'm like, "I don't want to substitute anything. I just want a McDouble with only ketchup." So she goes, "Oh, okay," and Smoothie goes "click, click, click" and orders me my damn McDouble. So then Clueless looks at me and says, "And you wanted what else?"
I was a little irritated at this point, because I needed to get driving. But I answer politely that I want "a medium fry and a large soft drink."
She punches about 20 buttons, gives me my total, I swipe the debit card, and I'm thinking, we're on our way. So I step back so she can help the next person. She turns and looks at me and says, "Did you want your sundae plain?"
I must have looked at her like she had a second head growing out of her abdomen or something, because I was like, "What foxtrottin' sundae?" Instead, I said, "I didn't order a sundae."
She looked like she was about to cry and asks again what I ordered. So I walk over and say slowly, "A McDouble, a medium fry, and a large soft drink."
Somehow, "Large Soft Drink," got translated into, "Plain Sundae." Thank Thor they were the same price. I figuered she would just hand me a cup. Oh no, she has to re-ring "Large Soft Drink" and I was gonna be t'd off if she tried to make me pay. Thankfully, she didn't. And by the time I filled up my cup with just the right amout of ice and sweet tea, my McDouble with only ketchup and the fries were ready to go.
She apologized for messing up the order, said that it was her first day training. After that, I felt a little bad for her, because she was alone at the registers, and it was 5:00. She was about to have a really, really bad first day. I may have gotten irritated, but I'm a helluva lot nicer than most people, especially hungry ones with screaming children, are.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I thought I was running late, only too find out I've been early my entire life.
It's amazing what hours of being alone with no one but your chihuahua to give you funny looks when you talk will do for your perspective.
Well, that and Keira Knightley movies.
My blog began with a very specific mission: to serve as an outlet for all the frustrations and disappointments I keep finding in my life. It was a way to deal with everything going wrong, a way to make me laugh when shit hit the fan. After starting it, all the crappiness turned into stories to write, pieces of my life to share with friends and strangers, and a different way to view things: a new perspective so that I could remind myself that in 5, 10, 20, years, I'll look back on this time and laugh, cry, and hopefully, be thankful that it happened.
My first entry, I wrote about never having a plan for after college. And the blog has morphed a bit into the kinds of things that you have to face in the "real" world that college never prepared me for. College never prepared me for not using my degree. It didn't prepare me for feeling like I've failed every time I see someone I used to know at KMart and feeling like I have to explain the "I'm here to help you!" nametag on my chest. It didn't prepare me for having to force a smile on my face and pretend like I don't feel like the biggest loser of all time. Like it doesn't bother me that I can't find a real job.
College prepared me to succeed. Everyone I've ever known, as a friend or mentor, has told me that I can do anything I want. That if I just try hard enough, I'll be successful. But it doesn't really work that way, does it? I've always been prepared for success. No one sits you down and says, "Sometimes, you're going to try really hard, and you're going to want something more than you've ever wanted anything else in your life, and you're not going to get it. Sometimes, you're going to fail. You're going to fail in small ways, but you're also going to fail in great, big, embarrassingly, heart-breaking messy ways. And it's okay."
So, I love Keira Knightley. I think I could be gay for her. Honestly. She's my hero. And I'll watch almost anything that has her name attached to it. I've watched Pride and Prejudice a dozen times (and I don't even really LIKE that adaptation. But it's Keira Knightely), Pirates of the Carribean twice as many times as that. And The Duchess a handful of times. And there's this line in The Duchess, where Georgiana (Knightley's character) says, "I fear I've done some things in life too early and others too late."
That's how I feel right now. All my life I felt like I was middle-aged. I've always been so level-headed. Always determined to do what's "right," even though I've come to realize that "right" can be a relative term.
I grew up early, by complete choice. I spent my entire youth longing for adulthood. And now that I'm here, I am, quite simply, afraid that I did it too early. That I made adult decisions before I was really ready to make them. Decisions that I can't undo. And I'm wondering if now, when I'm twenty-five and just now spending this time pondering the nature of the universe and meaning of my life--I wonder if I'm doing it too late.
*Note*
Check out the syndication of this post on BlogHer.
Well, that and Keira Knightley movies.
My blog began with a very specific mission: to serve as an outlet for all the frustrations and disappointments I keep finding in my life. It was a way to deal with everything going wrong, a way to make me laugh when shit hit the fan. After starting it, all the crappiness turned into stories to write, pieces of my life to share with friends and strangers, and a different way to view things: a new perspective so that I could remind myself that in 5, 10, 20, years, I'll look back on this time and laugh, cry, and hopefully, be thankful that it happened.
My first entry, I wrote about never having a plan for after college. And the blog has morphed a bit into the kinds of things that you have to face in the "real" world that college never prepared me for. College never prepared me for not using my degree. It didn't prepare me for feeling like I've failed every time I see someone I used to know at KMart and feeling like I have to explain the "I'm here to help you!" nametag on my chest. It didn't prepare me for having to force a smile on my face and pretend like I don't feel like the biggest loser of all time. Like it doesn't bother me that I can't find a real job.
College prepared me to succeed. Everyone I've ever known, as a friend or mentor, has told me that I can do anything I want. That if I just try hard enough, I'll be successful. But it doesn't really work that way, does it? I've always been prepared for success. No one sits you down and says, "Sometimes, you're going to try really hard, and you're going to want something more than you've ever wanted anything else in your life, and you're not going to get it. Sometimes, you're going to fail. You're going to fail in small ways, but you're also going to fail in great, big, embarrassingly, heart-breaking messy ways. And it's okay."
So, I love Keira Knightley. I think I could be gay for her. Honestly. She's my hero. And I'll watch almost anything that has her name attached to it. I've watched Pride and Prejudice a dozen times (and I don't even really LIKE that adaptation. But it's Keira Knightely), Pirates of the Carribean twice as many times as that. And The Duchess a handful of times. And there's this line in The Duchess, where Georgiana (Knightley's character) says, "I fear I've done some things in life too early and others too late."
That's how I feel right now. All my life I felt like I was middle-aged. I've always been so level-headed. Always determined to do what's "right," even though I've come to realize that "right" can be a relative term.
I grew up early, by complete choice. I spent my entire youth longing for adulthood. And now that I'm here, I am, quite simply, afraid that I did it too early. That I made adult decisions before I was really ready to make them. Decisions that I can't undo. And I'm wondering if now, when I'm twenty-five and just now spending this time pondering the nature of the universe and meaning of my life--I wonder if I'm doing it too late.
*Note*
Check out the syndication of this post on BlogHer.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Screw you, fashion police.
I wish KMart had one of those dress codes that some other retailers have--the ones that say you can wear whatever you want, as long as it was purchased in the store. Because if they did, I would buy out the sarcastic graphic tees and wear nothing but tshirts with sayings like:
"I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either."
"Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you."
"You can't be ugly and stupid. You have to pick one."
"It's all fun and games until someone loses a nut."
"Can we skip to the part where I care?"
"To all the haters: Thanks for the love."
"Silence! I keel you!" (With a picture of Achmed, the dead terrorist)
"FBI: Female Body Inspector" (Seriously, what would you do if you saw a chick wearing that?)
"What Recession?" (with Stewie from Family Guy pimped out)
And while we're talking about graphic t's at the 'mart, can we mention the totally racist shirt that has a picture of an ape wearing a huge chain with a dollar sign, one of the knuckle-ring things, a basketball jersey, and is spinning records? Srsly?
"I can only please one person a day. Today isn't your day. Tomorrow doesn't look too good either."
"Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you."
"You can't be ugly and stupid. You have to pick one."
"It's all fun and games until someone loses a nut."
"Can we skip to the part where I care?"
"To all the haters: Thanks for the love."
"Silence! I keel you!" (With a picture of Achmed, the dead terrorist)
"FBI: Female Body Inspector" (Seriously, what would you do if you saw a chick wearing that?)
"What Recession?" (with Stewie from Family Guy pimped out)
And while we're talking about graphic t's at the 'mart, can we mention the totally racist shirt that has a picture of an ape wearing a huge chain with a dollar sign, one of the knuckle-ring things, a basketball jersey, and is spinning records? Srsly?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A bit of an epiphany.
The interview went well. I should hear in a week or so about any offers, follow-ups, or bitter disappointments. I really, really want this job, and not just for the money, or to get out of KMart.
This is the first time I remember truly being excited about a job. In my first blog post, I mentioned that I had never made a plan for my life after college. I had never given thought to what I wanted to do once I got my degree. I wondered about teaching, and though I do enjoy it, I feel like it's not where I want to be in my life right now.
For personal reasons, I cannot go back to school for a Library Science degree right now either, even though I think that may be where I really want to end up--working in a library, that is.
So for now, I have to consider my strengths, experience, and wants, and make something out of them. What I discovered as I was freelancing for this office for the past few months, was that I absolutely loved it. I really do.
So when they told me they had a full-time position opening, I was excited. For one of the first times in my life, I was passionate about a job or career, and one that was realistic for me to pursue at this moment.
So if I don't get the job, I'm going to be disappointed for a lot of reasons. One, because I want to get out of KMart. Two, because the pay raise/benefits would help my husband and me out immensely. Three, because I already knew all but 2 of the 8 people involved in the interview process. They know that I'm intelligent, efficient, and quick to learn. And four, and probably most importantly, I'll have a lost an opportunity that I really, really wanted.
All the other jobs I've applied for were merely ones to get me on a full-time schedule, and out of KMart. And to get a bigger paycheck. This one would actually offer some personal satisfication, in addition to those things.
And that's something, I now realize, that I've been desperately searching for since leaving school.
This is the first time I remember truly being excited about a job. In my first blog post, I mentioned that I had never made a plan for my life after college. I had never given thought to what I wanted to do once I got my degree. I wondered about teaching, and though I do enjoy it, I feel like it's not where I want to be in my life right now.
For personal reasons, I cannot go back to school for a Library Science degree right now either, even though I think that may be where I really want to end up--working in a library, that is.
So for now, I have to consider my strengths, experience, and wants, and make something out of them. What I discovered as I was freelancing for this office for the past few months, was that I absolutely loved it. I really do.
So when they told me they had a full-time position opening, I was excited. For one of the first times in my life, I was passionate about a job or career, and one that was realistic for me to pursue at this moment.
So if I don't get the job, I'm going to be disappointed for a lot of reasons. One, because I want to get out of KMart. Two, because the pay raise/benefits would help my husband and me out immensely. Three, because I already knew all but 2 of the 8 people involved in the interview process. They know that I'm intelligent, efficient, and quick to learn. And four, and probably most importantly, I'll have a lost an opportunity that I really, really wanted.
All the other jobs I've applied for were merely ones to get me on a full-time schedule, and out of KMart. And to get a bigger paycheck. This one would actually offer some personal satisfication, in addition to those things.
And that's something, I now realize, that I've been desperately searching for since leaving school.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
About damn time . . .
I feel like I never have anything to write about here anymore. The happenings at the 'mart have settled into a aggravating routine. I'm starting to recognize customers. I've officially been there too long.
Which is why there could be no better time for me to get AN INTERVIEW! Woo-hoo! I'm interviewing for a lead writer/editor position in a communications office. I already know most of the people who will be interviewing me, and a lot of others in the administration, so my foot's way in the door.
Here's hoping I don't royally bomb.
Wednesday, July 7th. 1 PM.
Wish me luck.
Which is why there could be no better time for me to get AN INTERVIEW! Woo-hoo! I'm interviewing for a lead writer/editor position in a communications office. I already know most of the people who will be interviewing me, and a lot of others in the administration, so my foot's way in the door.
Here's hoping I don't royally bomb.
Wednesday, July 7th. 1 PM.
Wish me luck.
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