A bit of an epiphany.

The interview went well. I should hear in a week or so about any offers, follow-ups, or bitter disappointments. I really, really want this job, and not just for the money, or to get out of KMart.

This is the first time I remember truly being excited about a job. In my first blog post, I mentioned that I had never made a plan for my life after college. I had never given thought to what I wanted to do once I got my degree. I wondered about teaching, and though I do enjoy it, I feel like it's not where I want to be in my life right now.

For personal reasons, I cannot go back to school for a Library Science degree right now either, even though I think that may be where I really want to end up--working in a library, that is.

So for now, I have to consider my strengths, experience, and wants, and make something out of them. What I discovered as I was freelancing for this office for the past few months, was that I absolutely loved it. I really do.

So when they told me they had a full-time position opening, I was excited. For one of the first times in my life, I was passionate about a job or career, and one that was realistic for me to pursue at this moment.

So if I don't get the job, I'm going to be disappointed for a lot of reasons. One, because I want to get out of KMart. Two, because the pay raise/benefits would help my husband and me out immensely. Three, because I already knew all but 2 of the 8 people involved in the interview process. They know that I'm intelligent, efficient, and quick to learn. And four, and probably most importantly, I'll have a lost an opportunity that I really, really wanted.

All the other jobs I've applied for were merely ones to get me on a full-time schedule, and out of KMart. And to get a bigger paycheck. This one would actually offer some personal satisfication, in addition to those things.

And that's something, I now realize, that I've been desperately searching for since leaving school.