So, here's the deal.
This blog. Ugh.
I have approximately 2,346.7 blogs. This is just another one to add to that list. Except this one, unlike my other woe-is-me, dark-broody-poetry blogs, this one actually has a purpose. Here, in pixels, I'm cataloguing my experiences of being a college graduate working part-time at KMart. That's right. KMart.
Here's how it all began.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't constantly dreaming of the life I would have when I grew up. The funny thing is, I never really nailed down what I would be doing, but I knew--oh I just knew--that it would be awesome.
I was looking forward to college before I even got to high school. I applied to at least 5 colleges or universities, and got accepted to every single one. What can I say? I was an over-acheiver in high school. Not kidding. I was in everything: Spanish Club, English Club, Yearbook Staff, Newspaper Staff, Choir, Flag Team, Key Club, National Honor Society. If I was eligible to join, chances are I spent at least 1-2 years on that org's roster.
Then I went to college. I chose a small, liberal arts college close to home. I wanted to be able to bring my laundry home (and see my then-boyfriend more often). I got involved on campus. I joined a sorority, later became secretary, then recruitment director, and finally president. I was on the newspaper staff yet again. I worked no less than 2 jobs at any given time (at one point, I was working 3). I earned myself a 3.92 GPA on a 4.00 scale. I graduated from the honors program. I won awards for my writing and my work in the classroom. I knew most of the faculty (even ones I'd never taken a class from) and even more of the staff.
With graduation looming, I panicked. I had no clue what I was going to do after I graduated. I'd chosen to major in English. I loved reading and writing. I hadn't actually thought about what I was going to do with my non-education degree in English. So what did I do? The natural thing. I applied to grad school.
The summer between graduation and my first year in my Master's program, I got married (not to the HS b/f). I moved to the new town in which my new university was located. My husband and I survived paycheck to paycheck as we both worked on Masters degrees. I, again, worked 2 jobs. I worked as a TA my first year, a GA my second, and filled in all of my "free" time with part-time hours in the hospital kitchen across town. I helped orgranize the English Graduate Organization's annual conference (and I served as VP for that org for one year, as well as sitting as the student rep on the Writing Committee). I also managed to maintain a 4.00 through my entire Masters program. I wrote a 50 page thesis on Jane Austen's novel Emma and the movie Clueless. It was awesome.
Those two years are gone now, and I'm proudly holding a Master of Arts degree that displays in our office. And I work part-time at KMart.
Here's my problem: I did everything you're supposed to do in order to find success after school. I was involved, I took on leadership roles, I got outstanding grades, I networked with professors and professionals. I even took a class about job interviews, cover letters, and resumes. And the only place that would hire me was KMart. And they don't much care what my grades are, how many degrees I hold, how many honor societies I was a member of, or even if I know how to tie my own shoes. I was over the age of 16, and I wanted to work. End of interview.
If I did everything right, how did my life turn out so upside down?
I figured it out recently. In all my dreaming of the future, I never once planned for after college. All my life, college was the goal, not a step on the way to something else. It was the end result. And now I'm stuck in a future I never even had on my radar.
This is my diary. The diary of a twenty-something whose just beginning to really ask, "What the hell do I want to be when I grow up?"
