Let's talk about sex.

Warning: Adult Content (not that this whole blog isn't adult content, but thought I'd issue fair warning).


I was reading some crappy article earlier today, and one of the comments on the article made me laugh out loud, so I had to share it. This is what he said [I assume the poster is male]:

"isnt the real issue here the fact that cosmo has been using some variation of that "his best sex ever" headline FOR EVERY SINGLE ISSUE for like the past decade. it baffles me what they could be pawning off as sex advice. to all you ladies, your man is not that complicated. his junk is not some sort of rubik's cube."

I barked out a laugh, and wished the hubby was home so that I could share that little morsel with him. Because, really, isn't it just completely true? It just highlights, for me, how different men's and women's mindsets are. Sex isn't that much of a mystery. It's definitely not something that should require a mathematical algorithm to accomplish. Sex is sex. Insert Tab A into Slot B. They've put it on tshirts. Watch the Discovery Channel. Truly. Though to be fair, I'm not really a fetish kind of girl, and if you throw that kind of stuff in, I'd probably need a user's manual. I'm a meat-and-potatoes kind of girl.

I look at a piece of sexy lingerie, and I think about how hot it would be to wear it for my husband. He looks at it, and all he sees are straps, buckles, and small pieces of fabric that stand between him and what he really wants. It's not just being poor that prevents me from purchasing sexy little things to wear to bed. It's also the fact that when I have worn lingerie in the past, he just looks at me like, "Why are wasting my time by putting on clothing, when the goal is to take it off?"

Granted, I will not argue that my husband (nor my) mindset is the norm for men and women of are age. Not being a sociologist or conducted any kind of legitimate research, I can only speak from personal experience. But my personal experience is being a tomboy who grew up with a "manly-man" father, four brothers, in a neighborhood without any girls my own age. I relate far better to, and think far more like, the men of my acquaintance that the women. So it probably stands to  reason that when it comes to sex, I tend to think more like a man than a woman.

Sexy lingerie? What's the point?

When I read or hear friends talk about spending hours having sex, my first thought is: Really? What the hell is there to do that takes hours? I get it, I do. Foreplay, different positions, etc. But hours? Seriously? I guess I'm just a wham, bam, thank you ma'am kind of girl.

I'm not opposed, either, to trying to new things. But when adding things in to the mix that make the act more about properly executing a tricky maneuver and less about being 100% there, in that moment, with the person you're with, count me out.

Question, though. If women think men's manly parts are a Rubik's cube, then what does that make women's? (Being, truthfully, the infinitely more complicated anatomy.)

How do you measure a year?

One of the most helpless feelings in the world has got to be looking at where you were one year ago, and realizing that despite the best intentions, you are still in the same, mediocre spot as you were last year. This time last year, I was preparing to say goodbye to KMart, moving into to several part-time teaching positions, and looking forward to a less frustrating new year.

This year, I'm back working at KMart, and looking forward to something, anything, changing for the better this year. It could be a good year--I've applied to go back to school, so I may be moving to another part of the country in 7 months. Regardless of whether that happens, something has got to give. I'm going to make a change. I've got to get out of how my life is now. I'm sick of struggling to pay bills, fighting to stay afloat every month, and feeling like I've failed myself because I'm not using my 6 years of schooling to do something more than get continually frustrated by the customers at KMart.

I'm not going to spend a whole lot of time reflecting on the last year. If you're reading this, you've probably been along with me for a lot of it. Teaching, living, learning. That's what it's all about. I'm trying to learn to enjoy my life as it exists right now. Some days are harder than others. But hopefully this year, I'll live and learn (but no Luvs--so not ready for babies).