Do you wash your clothes in Windex? Cuz I can see myself in your pants.

Let's be honest here, KMart is no high-end store. We sell cheap crap. Not necessarily bad, because people tend to "need" a lot of cheap crap to stuff their lives full. But anyway, we're a supermarket. Okay? Our clothes are going to fall apart sooner rather than later, and, in the case of my husband, our jeans are going to shrink to resemble capris after one washing.

So, Mr. I-don't-know-what-size-jeans-I-wear, I do not have a tape measure. We are not a men's clothing store. I will not look like I'm assaulting you on the security cameras because you "don't want to go through all the trouble" of trying pants on in the fitting room. I'm very sorry that you are unaware of what size pants you wear, perhaps you could consider purchasing the same size you are currently wearing, as they appear to fit you quite well. Don't know what size those are? Again, I direct you to the fitting rooms.

Please do not stand there and act surprised that a part-time filler in KMART does not carry a tape measure around in order to assist fine, redneck gentlemen like yourself to determine what size pants to wear. If you don't want to try them on, and don't want to buy them unless you know they're going to fit, I'd say you are SOL.

Enjoy your day and thanks for shopping at KMart.